missing you..

hey .. i do really missing you. i miss all the memories that we had made together. i miss our laugh, all the crazy things we had made. i miss all the night we had spend together, talking non stop in the car sharing our life stories. i miss your smiles, your eyes, your voices.. i miss to hear all your words that always can make me calms. i miss to walk with you along the beach enjoy the view together. With you, i feel so safe , so calm. there is nothing i had to think and worried about. we just live in our own little world.. Every single things i did, every single songs i heard keep reminds me of you, sometimes when i closed my eyes -- i can feel like you were here with me. i can smell your perfumes, i can feel your breath and your warm hand holding mine and i can hear your voices talking to me. It make me shaking and cry.. but i have to be strong.  i'm sorry when thing is getting harder and harder, i cant keep this going. i had to leave my love, i don't want to put you on a hope which i don't even know how far could it be. i wish i can see the future instead of holding faith with what will coming later. i'm scared, i don't want to risk you. Maybe one day if we are meant to be together we will be back together. We may take detours in life but we will never lost. i really hope you can understand me, i'm sorry.. i really had a great time with you even it just for awhile and glad to know all your friends. they such a good friends. You are so lucky. Take care my prince.

August.

Wow, time do fly by FAST! Before you know it it's more than the second half of the year.

I felt the first of this year kinda went by like a breeze, but then it went by like a gust of wind. Even i hardly had time to breathe and i really looking forwards to a month without tears and heartbreak. Will august be ? As life goes on lets take a look at my august plan.. first of all i had settle all my studies and fees issues since the due is on 10th of august 2012. Afterwards (9-12 of aug) i'll start busy with my dance routines for celebrating merdeka at stadium bukit jalil. Yeah it was one of  my biggest event that i involved with 'big' payment i guess. This event gonna involve 500 dancer from all over malaysia. Praying hard that i can catch up the routines since this will involve a lot of professional dancer and im not that good at all plus the routine will be held during the fast time. I need a tons of energy for this. Then -- the most excited but not expected day will coming over, your birthday and my birthday on the day after !  Sadly, i cant even imagine how can we celebrate it in this kind of situation.. :( Nevermind.. i'll find a way to surprise you for sure ! Even i cant make it there for you, i know your friends will plan something.. Who knows what will happen right .. :) okayy enough with all this emotional feelings, back to the main topic -- oh ohh i just realize that my birthday falling on 3rd of hari raya . This is not good, how can i celebrate our birthday. shaitzz ! after one week of raya i will start busy again with my merdeka rehearsel and gonna perform it on 31st of august. Geez, august gonna be the most busiest month ever and most of the time i will be in kuala lumpur. Hoping that my life will getting better and i can forget all those problems. *crossing fingers*

hugs and kisses!

My beloved followers,

As you guys realize i had changed my blog URL and my display name because there is some problem that i cant let you guys know here.. yeah well, as you guys can guess there is a stalking issues going on in here and i dont like it that way since my journal is not for public issues until involve my family. Hope you guys can understand my situation, thank you !

hugs and kisses !

Stains.

I think that im losing myself completely and i need to fixed this. Lets make this as my wake up call, i wish i can go some place throw away all this shits.. clean up all this stains and make up my mind.

"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm."
~ Mohandas Gandhi

Dear FJ,

You came into my life not too long ago and I didn't think anything of it. We were friends and we got along so well, but I never imagined I'd be falling so hard for you. We became very close but yet we were so distant. The more I got to know you, the more I wanted to be with you.

You always made me smile and without you I'd be very different. You have changed me in so many ways. You make me want to wake up in the morning to see what life is going to throw at me each and every day. As we became very close and we talked all of the time,  you have to sacrifice to keep it low. 

I'm sorry for the mistakes, i hope you can be strong and stay with what we had talk before. Thank you for all you have been done, no matter how long time could flies you will always kept in my heart. 

i hurt too much till i can stand the lies, i'm so hurt till i could feel the blood dripping. there is too much brief in my life lately. i wish i could fly away to the arms that i can stay.. keep me calm and stay awake.