Stains.

I think that im losing myself completely and i need to fixed this. Lets make this as my wake up call, i wish i can go some place throw away all this shits.. clean up all this stains and make up my mind.

"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm."
~ Mohandas Gandhi

Dear FJ,

You came into my life not too long ago and I didn't think anything of it. We were friends and we got along so well, but I never imagined I'd be falling so hard for you. We became very close but yet we were so distant. The more I got to know you, the more I wanted to be with you.

You always made me smile and without you I'd be very different. You have changed me in so many ways. You make me want to wake up in the morning to see what life is going to throw at me each and every day. As we became very close and we talked all of the time,  you have to sacrifice to keep it low. 

I'm sorry for the mistakes, i hope you can be strong and stay with what we had talk before. Thank you for all you have been done, no matter how long time could flies you will always kept in my heart. 

i hurt too much till i can stand the lies, i'm so hurt till i could feel the blood dripping. there is too much brief in my life lately. i wish i could fly away to the arms that i can stay.. keep me calm and stay awake.

Hurt && Pain

“Pain is a pesky part of being human, I've learned it feels like a stab wound to the heart, something I wish we could all do without, in our lives here. Pain is a sudden hurt that can't be escaped. But then I have also learned that because of pain, I can feel the beauty, tenderness, and freedom of healing. Pain feels like a fast stab wound to the heart. But then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings and flying through the air! We may not have wings growing out of our backs, but healing is the closest thing that will give us that wind against our faces.” 

“Tragedies happen. What’re you gonna do, give up? Quit? No. I realize now that when your heart breaks, you gotta fight like hell to make sure you’re still alive; ‘cause you are. And that pain you feel - it’s life. The confusion and fear.. that’s there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better. And that something is worth fighting for.”

—	Nathan Scott

Welcoming JUNE with open arms !

As I reviewed earlier this week, May was a great month. It couldn’t have been much better if you ask me, but I’m positive June is going to be just as good if not better since my june starting with a good vibe. Well where should i start -- Firstly, i move to a new house with a new people new surroundings and a new hope. Even'though june is the most busiest month ever but, i really enjoy it. We just finish our club registration week last week and guess what ? alhamdullilah, we already improvise our club A LOT !! Finally we had our own t-shirt and extra bonus with cap ! LOL. We made our own mug with our new logo and medals for the gift. NO more kindergarten pressie for you guys on this year ice breaking games ! opps, this is supposed to be a secret. :p ANDDD the most excited news is, on our last day registration week chief minister ali rustam was coming over to visit all the club booths then unexpectedly his assistant stopped by to our booth and passed us his name card and ask us to call him incase we need a sponsorship on our next coming event ! Woohoo !! :D We also got a new job for our club, but i still cannot exposed this job yet since i have to made a proposal and profile then meet them personally this tuesday soo just wait and see. ~ yayyy. Oh Oh !! one more good news, alhamdullilah i passed my exam successfully. it been a long time i dont feel this way, i feel so glad that my hardworks has been paid. thanks to my love one who always support and courage me all this time and make me awake when i nearly give up. Hope that i can keep this up, study more harder and give a commitment on my studies. insyaallah ... So that's all for now i guess, will update to you guys more soon. 

Hugs and Kisses !

Never is a promise

You'll never see the courage I know 
Its colors' richness won't appear within your view 
I'll never glow - the way that you glow 
Your presence dominates the judgements made on you 

But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights 
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception 
My feelings swell and stretch; I see from greater heights 
I understand what I am still too proud to mention - to you 

You'll say you understand, but You don't understand 
You'll say you'd never give up seeing eye to eye 
But never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie 


You'll never touch - these things that I hold 
The skin of my emotions lies beneath my own 
You'll never feel the heat of this soul 
My fever burns me deeper than I've ever shown - to you .